Farley was once again invited to give a presentation to a medium sized law firm yesterday on dealing with challenging clients and lawyers. Those of you who have met Farley will be familiar with his friendly personality and witty sense of humor which helped ensure everyone stayed involved and intrigued throughout!
During this presentation Farley shared a particular secret of his own success as a mediator:
‘The Four Agreements,’ Don Miguel Ruiz’s famous book published in 1997.
Farley draws on these four agreements in his day-to-day work as a mediator and in all aspects of his life:
The 4 agreements are:
1. Be impeccable with your word
2. Don’t make assumptions
3. Don’t take things personally
4. Always do your best
By remembering the 4 agreements and using the points given below Farley maintains that practitioners are more likely to achieve success and relieve stress from both the client and themselves during the mediation process.
- Communication is key to building trust and a rapport.
- Discuss all issues and explain everything clearly.
- Focus on goals/strategies.
- Manage expectations.
- Prepare yourself and the client.
- Don’t take things personally – avoid confrontation.
- Take regular breaks.
- Be firm but fair and remain calm, collected and patient.
- Always work towards a win/win.
- Remember mediators are humans too.
We can all adhere to this advice so let’s move forward smiling, and put these points into action in future work with clients or colleagues alike!
Written by Bernadette Fryer, Executive Assistant to Farley S. Tolpen
Farley S. Tolpen and The Mediation Experts can be contacted on 1800 803 903 or Farley.Tolpen@mediationexperts.com.au